Shareware Grab Bag/Shareware Grab Bag.iso/098/funny.arc/FUNNY-.DOC

Text File | 1985-09-16 | 10.6 KB | 265 lines

            Funny-.Com Ver. 2.0     Page -1-    GagWare




                                     FUNNY-.COM


                 Have you  ever issued  a command to MS-DOS only to have
            your trusty  PC misunderstand  giving you  an undecipherable
            error message  and leaving you confused and frustrated?  Did
            you ever  want to  give the  resident hacker the pleasure of
            the frustration  of a PC that won't do what is told, but in-
            stead  spits  out  wise  remarks?    Here  is  your  answer.
            Funny-.Com  is   a  humorous  replacement  for  the  command
            processor on  your PC or close clone.  Funny-.Com doesn't do
            anything but drive you to  tears, frustration, and laughter.
            We hope for more laughter than tears.

                 Now with  Funny-.Com Ver.  2.0, Funny-.Com lays in wait
            while the unsuspecting operator issues MS-DOS commands which
            are dutifully  interpreted and  executed.   You would  never
            know that  Funny-Com is hiding, waiting to spring forth with
            responses you  never thought  were possible.   Funny-.Com is
            set to  misbehave only  about half  the time,  but  you  can
            change it if you want.

                                   FUNNY-COMMAND

                 Many hours of time and frustration have gone into  pro-
            ducing Fun-Com for your pleasure and enjoyment (and frustra-
            tion).   To help  defray the expense of our time and give us
            some incentive  to continue  improving this silly program, a
            nominal user  support fee  ($10.00) is  suggested.   You can
            send your user support fee to us at:

            Bill Flynn & Assoc.
            932 Westbrooke Way #5
            Hopkins, Mn. 55343

                                      LICENSE

                 You have  the non-exclusive  right to  use  Funny-.Com.
            You may  make as  many copies  of Funny-.Com as you like and
            you may  distribute the  copies in any manner so long as the
            complete program  and the complete documentation is included
            with each  copy so  distributed.   Additionally, you may not
            sell copies  of Funny-.Com,  but you may charge a fee to de-
            fray the cost of the media containing and the time producing
            the copies.
















            Funny-.Com Ver. 2.0     Page -2-    GagWare


                                  LIMITED WARRANTY

                 THE PROGRAM  (FUNNY-.COM) IS  PROVIDED "AS  IS" WITHOUT
            WARRANTY OF ANY KIND.  THE ENTIRE RISK AS TO THE RESULTS AND
            PERFORMANCE OF  THE PROGRAM  IS ASSUMED BY THE USER.  SHOULD
            THE PROGRAM PROVE DEFECTIVE, THE USER AND NOT BILL FLYNN AND
            ASSOC. ASSUME  THE ENTIRE  COST OF  ALL NECESSARY SERVICING,
            REPAIR, OR  CORRECTION.   FURTHER, BILL  FLYNN & ASSOC. DOES
            NOT WARRANT,  GUARANTEE, OR MAKE ANY REPRESENTATIONS REGARD-
            ING THE USE OF, OR THE RESULTS OF THE USE OF, THE PROGRAM IN
            TERMS OF CORRECTNESS, ACCURACY, RELIABILITY, CURRENTNESS, OR
            OTHERWISE; AND  THE USER  RELIES ON  THE PROGRAM AND RESULTS
            SOLELY AT HIS OWN RISK.

                 THE ABOVE  IS THE  ONLY WARRANTY  OF ANY  KIND,  EITHER
            EXPRESSED OR  IMPLIED, INCLUDING  BUT  NOT  LIMITED  TO  THE
            IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY AND FITNESS FOR A PAR-
            TICULAR PURPOSE THAT IS MADE ON THIS PRODUCT.  THIS WARRANTY
            GIVES YOUR SPECIFIC LEGAL RIGHTS AND YOU MAY ALSO HAVE OTHER
            RIGHTS THAT VARY FROM STATE TO STATE.

                 NEITHER BILL  FLYNN &  ASSOC. NOR  ANYONE ELSE  WHO HAS
            BEEN INVOLVED  IN THE  CREATION, PRODUCTION,  OR DELIVERY OF
            THIS PROGRAM  SHALL BE LIABLE FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, CON-
            SEQUENTIAL, OR  INCIDENTAL DAMAGES  ARISING OUT  OF THE USE,
            THE RESULTS  OF USE,  OR INABILITY  TO USE SUCH PRODUCT EVEN
            ADVISE IF  ADVISED OF  THE POSSIBILITY  OF SUCH  DAMAGES  OR
            CLAIM.  SOME STATES DO NOT ALLOW THE EXCLUSION OR LIMITATION
            OF LIABILITY FOR CONSEQUENTIAL OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES, SO THE
            ABOVE LIMITATION MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU.

                                  ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

                  YOU  ACKNOWLEDGE THAT  YOU HAVE  READ THIS  AGREEMENT,
            UNDERSTAND IT,  AND AGREE  TO BE BOUND BY ITS TERMS AND CON-
            DITIONS.   YOU ALSO  AGREE THAT  THIS IS  THE  COMPLETE  AND
            EXCLUSIVE STATEMENT  OF AGREEMENT  BETWEEN THE  PARTIES  AND
            SUPERCEDES ALL  PROPOSALS OR  PRIOR  AGREEMENTS,  VERBAL  OR
            WRITTEN, AND  ANY OTHER  COMMUNICATIONS BETWEEN  THE PARTIES
            RELATING TO THE SUBJECT MATTER OF THIS AGREEMENT.























            Funny-.Com Ver. 2.0     Page -3-    GagWare


                 So many  of us  look to  a computer  as a  serious tool
            totally lacking  in personality  and sense  of humor.  We're
            tired of  all this seriousness.  It's time to put some humor
            in the computer room with Funny.-Com.

                 So many times I thought I instructed my trusty computer
            to do  some command  for me only to find it didn't quite get
            the message.   Sometimes,  though, it works.  Let's put some
            inconsistency in  the computer,  with Funny.-Com  running in
            your computer  you will never know what its going to do!  It
            will do  what it  wants to  do, much to your frustration and
            laughter.

                 Sometimes that  trusty computer is so well behaved that
            you would  never know  that  Funny-.Com  is  hiding  in  the
            background, but  sometimes, Funny-.Com  will just plain take
            over your  machine and  do its  own thing.   Then you're not
            going to  get much  work done,  but the  laughter will flow.
            Try cursing  at a  computer, where does that get you.  Maybe
            it will  build your  vocabulary, but the computer don't talk
            back, or do they?

                 Funny-.Com can  be run from the command level by simply
            typing in "Funny-<cr>".  Funny-.Com will sign on and ask you
            for the  date and  time just  like MS-DOS.  Once running the
            fun  begins,   Funny-.Com  recognizes  most  of  the  MS-DOS
            commands   and    some    others,    sometimes    responding
            inappropriately to  your correctly  typed MS-DOS command for
            your frustration and laughter.

                 If you  really want  to  be  mean,  Funny-.Com  can  be
            renamed "COMMAND.COM"  and placed on a bootable disk to load
            upon initial  boot up  leaving the    unsuspecting  with  an
            inoperative,   and    sometimes   wise-cracking,   computer.
            Funny-.Com has  run on  the real PC and all of the clones we
            have tried,  but may  not work  on all  machines.   We can't
            afford to buy one of each variety of computer to try it, but
            donations of  machines will  be accepted  so Funny-.Com will
            run on the broadest range of machines.

                 Beware, an exit from the Funny-.Com adventure without a
            valid   command processor  (COMMAND.COM) present in the root
            directory of  the boot  drive leaves  the computer in never-
            never   land requiring  a cold boot to restart.  I have seen
            some   strange and  interesting screens  produced from  this
            kind of exit.

                 In either mode of operation Funny-.Com is simply loaded
            into memory at the DOS prompt.  The unsuspecting victim will
            return  finding the usual "A>" prompt (maybe) displayed just
            like he  left   it.   When he  attempts to load a program or
            issue an  MS-DOS   command the fun begins.  Funny-.Com leads
            the operator  on an  adventure  in  frustrations  and  humor
            responding to  every  MS-DOS  command  with  responses  mere









            Funny-.Com Ver. 2.0     Page -4-    GagWare


            mortals only  dream of.   The  poor operator wanders through
            the MS-DOS  command structure until he plughs himself out or
            gives up with a Ctrl-Alt-Del to reboot.

                 So there,  we now  all have  humor in the computer room
            ready to  drop on  the unsuspecting.  Load Funny-.Com in and
            everything is  fine until  Funny-.Com decides  to have  some
            fun, then watch out for its antics.

                 I told  you that  you can  change  the  frequency  that
            Funny-.Com misbehaves, well it isn't that hard, but you have
            to use  DEBUG to  patch the  file.   How, you ask, well just
            copy the  file DEBUG.COM from your DOS disk onto a disk with
            Funny-.Com on  it and,  without Funny-.Com loaded you better
            check, type  "DEBUG FUNNY-.COM".   DEBUG will sign on with a
            "-" prompt  and you  type "e2da4" giving DEBUG an address to
            examine, to  which DEBUG  will respond  by showing  you  the
            value at  that memory  location.   The value  should be "32"
            (hex or  50 decimal).  Now change that value to whatever you
            want.   Use a  smaller value  to have  a  more  well-behaved
            computer and a larger value for Funny-.Com to misbehave more
            often.   If the  value is  large enough Funny-.Com will take
            over and you just won't be able to get anything done.

                 Funny-.Com is  written in Turbo-Pascal Ver. 3.0 because
            it is  a nice  inexpensive compiler producing tight and fast
            code.   But you  could have  figured that out by dumping the
            first sector  of the  com file.   Besides,  and  "EXE"  file
            wouldn't load  from boot.  Hats off to Borland for following
            Software Toolworks  example of  producing software  that  is
            both good and inexpensive.

            Bill Flynn & Associates
            932 Westbrooke Way #5
            Hopkins, Mn. 55343